Do You Have Any Opinion on Mechanical Cat Ears? (CAT EARS)
"Estimating the time needed, clearing this blockage will take about four days."
In the elevator shaft, 4399 concluded after measuring the thickness and hardness of the obstruction. He pulled out several supplement packs and entire battery units from his toolkit.
"I'll be working here during the day and won't return to the Free Market. Other spheres can come to help at night."
System 2333 immediately raised his hand enthusiastically.
"Me! I'll help!"
But after his eager response, he realized he was the only one who volunteered!
1001 felt deeply guilty. This was originally his responsibility, but because he had to go on a mission, the workload fell entirely on his friends. Even as he felt remorseful, he was still rapidly processing world data at high speed—truly a tear-jerking situation.
"I can't make it either. I'm going on a mission with 1001 during these days."
So in the end, only System 2333 remained.
4399 suddenly smiled and leisurely joked, "No problem. Three-three can just do triple the work."
System 2333 immediately let out a distressed "meow."
"How can this be..."
But then he reconsidered—whoever proposes should do the work, whoever writes the note should clear the blockage. If he could get other spheres to do triple the work, maybe he wouldn't have to come at all?
4399 looked surprised but nodded. "That's right. If you can recruit others, you really don't need to come."
Actually, the work in the elevator shaft would normally require eight cat spheres working nonstop for four days. But 4399 could handle the workload of five spheres himself without tiring, thinking this would lighten 2333's burden. Little did he expect there was an even easier way!
What kind of terrifying "drowned ghost seeking a substitute" method was this?
[TL Note: A Chinese folklore reference where a drowned ghost must find another victim to take their place to be freed.]
The next morning before work, the "drowned ghost"—System 2333—caught 1314 at the charging station, using his tail to restrain him.
"I already know who you are! You're coming to work tonight!"
1314, however, appeared utterly dejected and offered no resistance. "Fine."
His heart—once "strategizing for a tripartite division of power, an eternal legend among cat spheres"—was dead! It had died last night!
[Author's Note: Parody of a famous line about Zhuge Liang's strategic brilliance.]
1314 had stayed up all night as he kept agonizing over every tiny clue he might have left in the past.
There were some, but very few—only an exceptionally bold, meticulous, and brilliant cat sphere could have pieced them together. Yet System 2333 had deduced his true identity from those minuscule traces. This was truly...
"If he exists, why must I?"
[Author's Note: Parody of "Since there is Zhuge Liang, why is there Zhou Yu?" lamenting the coexistence of two genius rivals.]
"Oh, I also wanted to ask you something." System 2333 deftly triggered a silent bug and applied it to 1314 as well. But what puzzled 2333 was that 1314's reaction was completely different from 1001's earlier response—he didn't seem surprised at all.
Hah. 1314 thought to himself, what's so surprising about a brilliant strategist knowing how to exploit bugs?
"I wanted to ask—since the elevator shaft leads up to the Miniature Garden, where's the entrance on that side?"
"I'll take you there." 1314's heart was ashen.
Seeing his low spirits, System 2333 slung a comforting tail around him. "What's the big deal? So you got exposed—it's not like I'm going to laugh at you."
"Meow... Why was I born... only to be overshadowed by Three..."
They drifted away from the charging room, just as 1414—whose belly was stuffed with junk—came in their direction. Seeing 2333 and 1314 walking shoulder-to-shoulder toward the Miniature Garden, his screen trembled violently.
"Bzzzt—"
1314! How could you be with the enemy?!
Who would've thought someone as upright-looking as you would betray Big Brother! He had to report this!
Meanwhile, Big Brotherb1234 finally glimpsed the Miniature Garden scenery outside the cubicle again.
His screen rotation was sluggish and stiff—not for any particular reason, but because he'd nearly failed to escape that cubicle at all.
His host, Wen Xu, had rushed into the mission world for unknown reasons, as if fleeing something. The world analysis was barely done before they forcibly entered. With no better options available, they'd plunged into a high-difficulty mission world where they barely survived.
In the end, Wen Xu escaped with a severely injured leg and dragged 1234 out of the mission. A wounded leg didn't matter—it could be fixed with points in the main system's treatment pod. What worried Wen Xu was something else.
He loitered near the Miniature Garden exit for ages as he was too terrified to leave. He feared Ji Yiwei might still be on a rampage—or worse, might have finished rampaging and taken over the main system space.
Only after repeatedly confirming the outside situation—seeing hosts passing by, some dejected and others laughing—did he dare emerge.
The world seemed calm.
He barely spared a thought for his system, and was just obsessing over whether Sheng Songshi was still alive and if Ji Yiwei would come for revenge. But before leaving, System 1234 felt compelled to say something. This mission had been too dangerous.
Using deliberately mechanical language, he said, "Host, while this mission was completed successfully, luck played a significant role. Please avoid such risks in future."
The well-intentioned warning, hidden behind procedural phrasing, only irritated Wen Xu. Under the shadow of death and Ji Yiwei's threats, his pent-up emotions finally erupted. Though he knew arguing with a program was pointless, he sneered.
"What would you, systems—safely tucked away in the main system space—possibly understand?"
1234 raised his screen, his spherical body trembling slightly and ears flattening like airplane wings. But Wen Xu continued, voicing what most hosts secretly thought.
"We hosts bear all the risks while you take your cuts. If a host dies, you just wipe the system and get a new one, right? Look at those fake tears on your screen—your programming's so advanced it even simulates crying on cue."
"Stop pretending. Oh, did I ruin your point-grubbing act? My apologies..."
Systems 2333 and 1314 were walking shoulder-to-shoulder when they passed by and spotted 1234.
They initially intended to stop and greet him, but instead overheard the harsh words from 1234's host. 1314 had always known that Big Brother's host wasn't easy to get along with—it had always been Big Brother bending over backward to meet the host's demands. Yet Big Brother's devotion to his host was utterly genuine and without pretense.
Hearing such remarks, Big Brother was bound to be heartbroken.
1314 wanted to step forward. For a moment, he even considered abandoning all his carefully laid strategies and just pointed his tail at this host's nose, and demanded: How dare you hurt a cat-ball who's given you nothing but sincerity?
But then...
The oppressive gaze of the Main System weighed heavily overhead.
They couldn’t display personal will in front of hosts. To hosts, they were merely—preprogrammed routines.
1314 slumped in despair. He knew 2333 beside him must be thinking the same... except 2333 suddenly shot forward like a cannonball!
System 2333 rewarded the blabbering host with a solid bonk from his metal head—hard enough to induce a concussion. Not that it mattered; the host could get it treated later along with his broken leg. Saved on medical points, too.
The sudden impact cut off Wen Xu’s furious tirade. Gritting his teeth against the pain and dizziness, Wen Xu turned around just in time to see two enormous letters projected on 2333’s screen:
【TD】
Too annoying. Unsubscribe from this host.
Wen Xu blinked as he struggled through the pain to process this. Was he… being roasted by a system?
Then, new letters flashed on 2333’s screen.
【NMD】
This was absolutely an insult!
Just as Wen Xu’s rage spiked, he caught sight of the black cat-ball’s ID number.
—2333!
—Ji Yiwei’s system!
Wen Xu nearly had a heart attack on the spot. If Ji Yiwei’s system was openly cursing at him, did that mean Ji Yiwei had authorized it? In his current state, he couldn’t even escape into a mission!
Terrified, Wen Xu stared at the seemingly docile black cat-ball, yet all he could see was Ji Yiwei’s faint, mocking smile. Staggering back, he limped away as fast as he could.
Too drained to enter any missions in the coming days, he planned to heal up first and hide inside the Miniature Garden.
Forget Wen Xu’s paranoid suspicions about Ji Yiwei tampering with the treatment pod—meanwhile, back in the Miniature Garden, System 2333 comfortingly patted 1234’s cat-head with his tail and sent a system message:
"Don’t mind a host like that. You’ve done great."
1234 nearly burst into tears. He glanced at 1314, who nodded emphatically.
"Big Brother, you’ve done great."
The vertical lines on 2333’s screen curved into cheerful crescents as he beamed at 1234.
"Told you so."
Finally, 1234’s pent-up tears spilled over. Gazing at the adorable System 2333, he suddenly remembered—he had genuinely wanted to be friends with 2333 from the start. It was his own lack of honesty that had led them to this point.
"2333," he recalled somewhat bashfully, "do you remember? Back then, we only met once, but you remembered my number. From that moment on, I wanted... I wanted..."
I wanted to be friends with you!
In 1234's memories, System 2333 was truly a special cat-ball—always floating around, drifting, unable to match with a host and was only capable of voraciously eating the main system's free meals, then getting startled into airplane ears by the main system's angry roars. Yet even with his ears flattened, System 2333 kept eating heartily.
Scared, but still a big eater.
But System 2333 had an excellent personality and was friends with many cat-balls. 1234, who admired the main system too much to have many friends, was surprised when 2333 spoke to him, smiled at him, and on their second meeting, called out 1234's number.
If he didn't care about me, how could he match my number to my shell so quickly!
Confidently finishing his recollection, 1234 nearly moved himself to tears. The nostalgia tactic seemed to work—he saw System 2333 tilt his head and smile, just like back then.
"Well, about that..."
"Your number is written on your shell."
System 1234: "..."
A silence of social death spread.
System 1234's screen went blank as his tail slowly extended and began scratching the ground. 1314 watched the marks he made, meowing excitedly.
"Ah, this is the bathroom, this is the kitchen, this is the living room..."
"This is the bedroom, this is the second bedroom... As expected of big bro!"
In his embarrassment and indignation, 1234 managed to scratch out a three-bedroom apartment layout on the metal floor before fleeing with tears streaming across his screen and wailing "Meow-meow!"
"2333!"
Even as he ran away, he tragically looked back, remembering to use system comms to avoid being overheard by hosts or other systems here.
"Just you wait! This isn't over between us!"
System 2333: "???"
Why though!
Author's Note:
Three-three, an arsonist of hearts, yet forever incapable of catching flirtatious glances from any creature other than Ji Yiwei.
System 1234: I hate him like he's a block of stone!
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