Do You Have Any Opinion on Mechanical Cat Ears? (CAT EARS)
System 2333 had just completed his world settlement and emerged from the cubicle when his gaze landed on a glittering banner—
【Warm Congratulations on San San's Successful Mission Completion!】
The part with the system's name on the banner had been pasted over multiple times, layer upon layer.
This was a communal banner that had borne many cat-ball names. It was something of a tradition among the cat-balls—when timing permitted, they'd gather at the courtyard with banners to celebrate a friend's safe return from missions.
After all, mission failure meant execution.
The moment System 2333 stepped out, he was immediately swarmed by his cat-ball friends.
1818 and 2222 lifted him up with their tails in celebration, while even 6666 made an appearance and enthusiastically patted his head with a tail in applause that sounded like "squelch-squelch."
The scene wasn't unique to their group. Another cubicle opened nearby, and a cat-ball floated over to borrow the banner.
"5555 made it out! Are you still using this banner?"
Not only did they lend it, but System 2333 promptly helped alter the banner's name to "5555." Together, they carried the banner over to welcome the fortunate returnee.
"Waaahhh!" 5555 wept loudly. "Thank you! Thank you all! I thought I'd never make it out! I was so scared, meow!"
5555 wasn't particularly skilled at missions, but completing this one meant he wouldn't be at the bottom of this month's performance rankings.
Though never spoken aloud, the cat-balls had an unspoken understanding—they made sure no ball ranked last for three consecutive months, as that would incur punishment. Yet as long as the Main System existed, the monthly performance ranking system would remain.
System 2333 clapped with two tails in a "squelch-squelch" rhythm, lost in thought.
Soon after, the cat-balls dispersed.
Before leaving with his friends, 2333 glanced back at the massive Rubik's Cube-like structure of stacked cubicles. Its shifting, interlocking blocks represented the life-and-death journeys every cat-ball experienced within.
"Senior San San, what's wrong?" 6666 asked, noticing his distraction.
Blinking his vertical-line eyes on the digital screen, 2333 hooked a tail around Little Six, who in turn linked with 2222, and the group ambled out in a chain.
"Nothing much," 2333 mused. "It's just... doing missions back-to-back where failure means death sometimes makes me feel..."
"That little box might as well be our eternal home."
System 6666: "..."
Don't be so gloomy, Senior San San! He mentally waved glow sticks for his senior. Fight on! Fight on!
As 6666 energetically cheered internally, 2222 leaned closer and whispered:
"1001 got muted by his host the moment he returned. Not that he minded—he went straight to help out at the abandoned elevator shaft."
Typical Xiao Yi behavior, 2333 sighed.
"Xiao Yi's too prone to guilt. He's probably beating himself up for dumping work on friends during his mission."
Still...
At this point, System 2333 suddenly stopped speaking and grabbed 6666, who was still standing with vertical pupils, eyes tightly shut, and vigorously cheering.
"Little Six, Old Eight, let me teach you something fun!"
All systems! Let's exploit the bugs for him! Make the boss deaf and blind!
1818: "...Why don't you call him Old Six instead?"
After successfully exploiting the bugs, System 2333 continued, this time without avoiding any of the cat-eared spheres.
"Little Two, you were away on a mission earlier and didn’t know, but the Main System has been up to a lot lately. I suspect... the major inspection might happen sooner than expected."
Because the boss is panicking.
What they call a "major inspection" is actually a full-scale search. With the dog-like boss on high alert, it’ll likely be stricter than ever before. They might even dig through every system’s personal stores—no privacy whatsoever.
"...So, if anyone has any contraband, hand it over to me. I’ll help find a place to stash it and return everything after the inspection."
He refused to believe the search could reach the isolated Restricted Zone 306, drifting like a severed kite.
2222 fell silent upon hearing this. After a long pause, he asked gravely,
"Three-Three, how much can you hide at most?"
"...Meow."
Just how much contraband do you have?!
Confidently, System 2333 extended his tail. The tip split open, revealing a tiny mechanical hand for precision operations. The hand clenched tightly—completely under control.
"An entire world wouldn’t be a problem!"
2222 sighed in relief.
"That settles it then. Thanks, Three-Three. Reserve half a world’s worth of space for me. I’ve got not just my own contraband but also some of Zheng Xibei’s—just a few weapons and stuff."
Zheng Xibei was a real genius—who knew what went through his mind? He’d hidden some of the White Bird Project weapons, entrusted to him by Sheng Songshi, with the systems. Now, 2222 planned to stash those contraband items with Three-Three.
Brilliant!
Of course, 2222 had no idea those were White Bird Project weapon reserves. He simply assumed Zheng Xibei had an unusually large amount of contraband—like an entire arsenal.
System 2333 then turned to the other cat-eared spheres. 1818 mentioned he had a batch of black-market goods that needed hiding. Thanks, Three-Three.
...Seems none of them were exactly model citizens.
When all eyes turned to 6666, he shed tears of shame.
"I’m sorry, Senior Three-Three. I’m such an outcast—I’m too poor to own any contraband, wuwuwu..."
He often felt out of place among his seniors for not engaging in any mischief!
Since the major inspection might happen sooner, it was best to hurry up with clearing the abandoned elevator shaft.
4399 was already swamped, working like five systems at once. Even with Little One helping, progress wouldn’t be fast. The best solution now was naturally...
System 2333 hooked his tail around 6666 and 1818.
"Little Six, Old Eight, there’s an activity tonight about dreams, dedication, friendship, sweat, and burning youth. Wanna join?"
6666: "Wow! Senior Three-Three, I want in!"
1818: "That description... unpaid labor... mmmph!"
Looking at 1818 who was gagged and tied up, and the innocent-looking 6666, 2222 seemed to recall that night when he was dragged out to work. His screen was instantly filled with the word "sympathy".
System 2333 had promised his friends he'd return early tonight, so he floated off to find Ji Yiwei.
But before he could get close, his mechanical cat ears twitched as he noticed Ji Yiwei standing before Sheng Songshi, host of 1001. Their conversation was already nearing its end.
Sheng Songshi looked utterly crushed by despair, anger, and disbelief, yet Ji Yiwei still wore that faint, perfunctory smile.
The two parted ways on decidedly unfriendly terms—though only one of them cared.
Completely indifferent to the other's anguish, Ji Yiwei glanced sideways and spotted System 2333. In an instant, his expression transformed from barren wasteland to blooming peach tree, his eyes crinkling with joy as he raised his wristwatch.
"San-san, come here. I'll give you some points."
"Earlier, I made a huge profit from opening the mission playback feature. I remember this type of points bypasses the Main System—it can't take a cut, though systems can receive up to one-third of it."
"San-san, here's your third."
System 2333 froze, then immediately brightened up!
Was there any host in the world better than Ji Yiwei? Every time they met, he either gave him supplements or points!
A one-third share was no small amount. He'd recently spent quite a few points gathering materials for developing Restricted Zone 306, so this would help replenish his reserves.
Seeing his delight made Ji Yiwei even happier. He reached out to catch the cat-ball nuzzling against his shoulder before tilting his head slightly to brush against its tiny ears.
San-san must have spent a lot on materials lately.
Time to top him up!
As for Sheng Songshi from earlier? He didn't occupy Ji Yiwei's thoughts in the slightest.
Having learned Ji Yiwei's intentions from Zhou Yuechu, Sheng Songshi had predictably sought him out after the mission and tried to negotiate. What a devoted leader, so dutifully carrying his responsibilities.
But...
Negotiations were useless. Ji Yiwei didn't accept them, and he'd made that perfectly clear to Sheng Songshi.
Right now, he wanted the entire White Bird Project—so he would have the entire White Bird Project.
All this struggling and opposition only amused him. Of course, if the resistance reached the point of annoyance, or if they absolutely refused to meet his demands, then...
He wouldn't mind letting this white bird die in its nest, then hatching a black bird or something else to achieve his goals.
All that widow literature, all that cuckoldry nonsense—it could go to hell along with the Main System.
Tonight, System 2333 steeled himself and left Ji Yiwei an hour early to hurry back to the system living quarters.
Naturally, such early departure required an explanation. System 2333 wouldn't lie to Ji Yiwei, so he honestly stated:
"Because of the Main System."
To overthrow the Main System!
Ji Yiwei: "..."
The Main System. How wonderful.
Assuming his friends had probably gone ahead to work and would want some late-night snacks, System 2333 first stopped by the cafeteria to buy limited-edition flavors before sneaking off to the work area. But just as he stepped out of the cafeteria, he ran into 1234, who hadn't been seen for days.
1234 was originally a silver-gray cat sphere, but now black patterns had been spray-painted on his pair of mechanical cat ears, giving his entire form a much darker aura. When he saw System 2333, instead of immediately picking a fight or expressing exasperation as usual, he moved aside to let 2333 pass first.
2333, holding nutritional supplements, gave him a slight nod. This completely unchanged attitude seemed to give 1234 some courage, and he called out to stop him.
"You..."
He seemed momentarily at a loss for words.
"Don't you hate me?"
2333 stopped floating and quietly looked at him. His calm demeanor suddenly made 1234 want to cry, though he held it back—only his speaker emitted a slightly choked voice.
"2333, do you remember the story about the boy who cried wolf that you told?" Fearing being impatiently interrupted, he spoke quickly, "Back then you were among the cat spheres, telling it with such vivid expressions. So many balls were cheering along with you—you've always been the center of attention among us..."
Realizing he was rambling, he hurried back to the point.
"At that time, I was nearby and heard you tell that story too."
He raised his screen, his vertical-line eyes slightly blurred, yet still trying to speak steadily.
"2333, I believe you're a good ball, but the great Main System couldn't be wrong either."
"It's okay, I'll handle everything. You haven't been coming near the cafeteria much lately... right?"
Without saying more, he drifted away unsteadily. 2333 quietly watched his retreating figure.
"...The story you heard is outdated now, 1234."
2333's voice suddenly came from behind. 1234 turned back with his screen displaying an expression of disbelief—as if he couldn't believe 2333 was still willing to talk to him.
He saw the black cat sphere holding nutritional supplements with its cat ears standing tall. Though it had the same vertical-line eyes, they seemed filled with determination and hope.
"Protect yourself well. And... you can wait to hear the story I'm going to tell next."
That is—
The story of how the cat spheres defeated the bad watermelon!
Author's Note:
There truly are no bad cat spheres. 1234 is trying to handle things in his own way—just very clumsily and ineffectively. Most fatally, he still harbors illusions about the Main System.
Three-Three: Abandon illusions! Begin the struggle! Hang the heartless capitalists from the streetlamps!
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