Do You Have Any Opinion on Mechanical Cat Ears? (CAT EARS)
After completing the full-body massage, Ji Yiwei gently curled up beside System 2333's cat bed.
His reclining posture resembled that of a seductive concubine who could topple kingdoms, his fingers idly toying with the mechanical cat ears. System 2333, who had been in sleep mode enjoying the massage, lit up its screen and asked quietly:
"Alright, what did you do this time?"
Going to such lengths—had he forgotten to turn off the gas and caused a kitchen explosion? Or had he shredded all the paper at home into perfectly uniform little squares to scatter around? Or maybe he'd caught Mai Mai and given the poor bird a depressing receding hairline?
Come to think of it, Ji Yiwei's destructive potential was truly terrifying. But considering the full-service massage and all those supplements, System 2333 decided it could forgive him this time—and even help clean up the mess.
Yet, upon hearing the question, Ji Yiwei looked aggrieved. He lowered his lashes, veiling his dark eyes, and occasionally lifting them to glance at System 2333 with a wounded, hesitant expression.
"San-san, how could you think so poorly of me? What kind of person do you take me for?"
Unmoved by the concubine act, System 2333 remained composed.
"Weren't all those things—and similar incidents—things you've actually done before?"
When left alone at home, did Ji Yiwei ever not wreck something? Well, sometimes he didn’t wreck the house—he wrecked himself instead, like that time he obsessively gnawed on a giant flatbread.
"......"
Ji Yiwei fell silent for a moment before burying his face in the cat bed, pretending to cry.
"San-san, this time it's really not like that. I just thought you've been working too hard and wanted you to relax properly."
He sounded sincere—he wouldn’t lie to San-san.
System 2333 immediately felt guilty. It must have misjudged him. To make up for it, he quickly wrapped his tail around Ji Yiwei’s head in comfort and even allowed him to rub its soft belly.
Ji Yiwei kept his face buried in the cat bed, continuing his fake sobs, but his hand had already betrayed him, as it eagerly stroked the little cat sphere’s belly.
Meanwhile, in the kitchen—unseen by System 2333—the edges of the stove and range hood still bore faint traces of repairs from an earlier explosion. Behind the closed door of Ji Yiwei’s room, tiny squares of meticulously shredded paper lay scattered everywhere.
Out on the second-floor balcony, the seagull Mai Mai lifted a claw to scratch at the bald spot on its head.
It reminisced about the taste of fries. Earlier, one of the house’s owners had returned in a hurry, finished all his preparations, and then waited on the balcony.
Bored out of his mind, the heartless man had—for once—brought fries to feed it. But for every fry Mai Mai ate, he plucked a tuft of feathers from its head.
But for the sake of fries, Mai Mai endured it all!
System 2333 remained blissfully unaware of the havoc Ji Yiwei had wreaked during the long, boring wait for its return.
Together, they went to the kitchen to cook dinner—Ji Yiwei ate his meal, while System 2333 consumed nutrient supplements matching the flavors of the dishes.
At the table, Ji Yiwei smiled and asked:
"San-san, do you want to keep living like this forever?"
System 2333 let out an excited "Meow!"
"Of course! But... we still have to work."
Enjoyable moments were always fleeting. It was already much luckier than other cat spheres—so when it came to work, it had to give it its absolute all!
"San-san doesn’t like working?"
System 2333 shook its head and explained:
"It’s not that I dislike work in general... just certain kinds of tasks..."
He added silently in his heart—things like meetings, or the toxic manipulation from bad bosses. But he truly loved working on missions with Ji Yiwei!
At this thought, his mood lifted. His cat ears flicked back as he declared proudly,
"Ji Yiwei, I've finished the world analysis for [The Great Lake]! We can go to [The Great Lake] now!"
Although the surface-level analysis was complete, System 2333 wanted to add one final step—personally entering the world of [The Great Lake] to verify certain information and deductions, and even gather more intel to ensure a full conquest.
This was undoubtedly an extremely dangerous endeavor. No system cat-ball had ever entered an unconquered world alone. Unlike the fully cleared and safe Restricted Zone 306, unconquered worlds were teeming with countless monsters. Even in the form of a tiny cat-ball, there was no guarantee he wouldn’t be attacked.
System 2333 was well aware of this. Fear was inevitable, yet he was also brimming with courage!
During their time together, he had subtly probed Ji Yiwei for details—survival strategies in [The Great Lake], escape methods when facing monsters, and more. Though Ji Yiwei wasn’t entirely sure about fleeing tactics, he had still done his best to brainstorm ideas.
He would definitely bring back the most accurate and valuable—intel on [The Great Lake?
The words remained unspoken, but they set his blood aflame with determination. He longed to lock eyes with his partner, the one who shared his triumphs and trials. The black cat-ball looked up, only to see Ji Yiwei suddenly burst into tears after hearing his earlier words.
System 2333: "!!!"
Wh-what should he do?! Why was Ji Yiwei crying?! Did he say something wrong?! He’d only mentioned finishing the analysis for [The Great Lake]!
"Ji Yiwei-Ji Yiwei, what’s wrong?" he asked anxiously.
His host simply reached out and nestled him against the crook of his neck. As usual, System 2333 instinctively wrapped his tail around Ji Yiwei’s neck—not to strangle him, but as their customary way of hugging.
For a long time, Ji Yiwei stayed silent. System 2333 could only blink his slit-pupiled eyes nervously, keeping him company.
Ji Yiwei’s heart was a storm of emotions.
Despite suffering under that wretched watermelon’s toxic manipulation—working twenty-hour days, earning a measly 5% commission, and being forced into grueling mining labor—San San had still managed to squeeze in time to complete the world analysis for [The Great Lake] in advance.
San San truly loved him.
So, just like back in the mines, he wept.
Don’t worry, San San.
Soon, you’ll be free from work forever.
Ji Yiwei lowered his lashes, and the tears vanished without a trace.
"It’s nothing. Just a sudden wave of emotion. Having San San comfort me is enough."
"Mmm, do you want to rub my belly then?"
"...Of course!"
An unexpected bonus!
As he stroked the soft belly, Ji Yiwei noticed San San was still a little worried, so he changed the subject.
"I feel like eating watermelon. San San, have some watermelon-flavored supplements too."
When it came to food, System 2333 had no objections.
Sipping on watermelon-flavored nutrient supplements, he watched as Ji Yiwei produced a round, slightly irregular watermelon that bore an uncanny resemblance to the Main System's head. With a smile, Ji Yiwei then retrieved a long, sharp watermelon knife from the kitchen.
Ji Yiwei's method of cutting watermelon was peculiar—it was as if he was butchering an enemy.
Gripping the knife single-handedly, he stabbed straight into the front of the melon. The blade went in white and came out red as crimson juice dripped from its tip, a faint smile curled at the corners of his lips.
Murdering a watermelon.
That's what it looked like to System 2333.
Ji Yiwei might as well have been murdering a watermelon.
With a crisp "thwack," the watermelon was cleaved into six slices.
Seated around the circular table, Sheng Songshi and Zhou Yuechu watched in silent horror, their hairs standing on end.
Zheng Xibei stared blankly, sensing something ominous but unable to pinpoint what.
Wen Xu widened his eyes before glancing across at Qian Dafa, who seemed utterly oblivious, even rubbing his hands in anticipation of eating the watermelon.
—To gather people from such disparate factions under one roof—only Ji Yiwei could pull off such a feat in the entire Infinite Space.
Under the collective gaze of the other five, Ji Yiwei sliced the watermelon with unsettling nonchalance before wiping the juice from his blade as though it were blood. The knife tip gestured toward each host present as he offered them a thin, insincere smile.
"Eat up."
"Why aren't you eating?"
The others were too terrified to move. Qian Dafa, ever the boldest, grabbed a slice without hesitation and dug in, he even said praise between mouthfuls.
"This melon's amazing! So fragrant! So sweet!"
He wasn't the least bit worried about Ji Yiwei poisoning him.
For one, if Ji Yiwei wanted him dead, he wouldn't resort to something as trivial as poison. Secondly, as the spiritual leader of their Cat Ball Cult, fellow believers didn't harm each other—no objections there, right?
Though it wouldn’t hurt if Ji Yiwei extended even a fraction of the care he showed System 2333 to the other cat balls. That would really cement his leadership status.
With someone having taken the first bite, the other hosts reluctantly picked up their slices. Regardless of their allegiances, they had no choice but to submit to Ji Yiwei's intimidation.
Just as Sheng Songshi steeled himself to take a bite, Ji Yiwei abruptly announced:
"Five hundred points."
Five hundred points per slice.
This wasn't inflation—it was daylight robbery!
Yet no one dared hesitate and hurriedly transferred the points via their wrist devices, afraid that even a second's delay might earn them a grudge.
Ji Yiwei was pleased.
Another method of frugal living is unlocked.
Having survived the watermelon unscathed and with Ji Yiwei showing no signs of using it as pretext for further trouble, the hosts gradually relaxed. This probably wasn't an ambush after all.
With so many hosts from opposing factions gathered together, Sheng Songshi felt a surge of excitement.
This was the stuff of his dreams—all factions setting aside their differences to unite. Who would've thought Ji Yiwei of all people would be the one to orchestrate it?
Cautiously, he inquired about the meeting's agenda.
"Mr. Ji, you've brought us together... is this about discussing how to overthrow—"
Sheng Songshi stopped short of saying "the Main System," wary of being overheard. His gaze flickered to the massive watermelon on the table, finding it oddly fitting, and rephrased his question.
"Today's topic—could it be about how to overthrow a Big Watermelon?"
The moment these words were spoken, countless thoughts raced through the minds of those present.
Zhou Yuechu thought of her brother. With all the leaders of the host factions in the Infinite Space gathered here, she seemed to catch a glimmer of hope for overthrowing the Main System.
Qian Dafa appeared to know something as well, pressing his lips together and lowering his head.
He wasn’t a fool. Though he didn’t get along with Sheng Songshi, he was aware—about the impending doom of the hosts.
What he couldn’t accept was Sheng Songshi’s attitude toward the systems. Qian Dafa adored the systems, loved their cat-ball appearances, and cherished the unspoken bond he had developed with his own system through countless missions and shared experiences.
That wasn’t something that could be sacrificed.
Qian Dafa’s thoughts suddenly ground to a halt. Like the others, he stared in horror at Ji Yiwei in front of them, and nearly bolted for the exit.
Ji Yiwei’s eyes shimmered with unshed tears as he sighed and declared in a voice filled with emotion—
"Today’s meeting theme is—"
"How could my Three-Three possibly go mining?"
Author's Note:
Other hosts: We shouldn’t even try to understand Ji Yiwei! His brain is literally shaped like System 2333!
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